Let’s see — Grand Canyon or Tattoo Expo? Hmmmm . . .
Satire
Dynamic Duo off to The Big Dig
Having heard about possible negligence, the two most culpable proponents of the Big Dig head off to fix the problem.
Lobotomy Candidate of the Day
Today’s Lobotomy Candidate is John Kerry.
CNS News carried this article about this loser’s Presidential impeachment remarks:
Kerry’s Impeachment Crack Not Funny, Republicans Say — 12/16/2005
The Republican Party sees nothing funny about Sen. John F. Kerry’s crack that President Bush should be impeached.
If Democrats take back the House in 2006, there would be a “solid case” to bring articles of impeachment against Bush for “misleading” the country about prewar intelligence, the National Journal’s Hotline quoted Kerry as saying.
“With his impeachment advocacy last night, John Kerry once again showed how out of touch he is with American people and how in step he is with the far left fringes of the Democrat party,” said RNC Communications Director Brian Jones in a statement.
“For one of the leaders of the Democrat party to begin a push for presidential impeachment, in seriousness or jest, on the eve of the Iraq elections is both foolish and shortsighted.”
Obviously, Senator Kerry is tormented by out-of-body hallucinations, delusions of grandeur and nuance, positional-reversal syndrome and being a Democrat. Our recommendation is that he undergo a simple lobotomy to relieve these debilitating symptoms. Here is a projection of the results:
Before (left): hypocritical, tormented, nuanced, averted gaze, loser.
After (right): peaceful, relaxed, gazing skyward, better-looking.
After (right): peaceful, relaxed, gazing skyward, better-looking.
Have Gun Will Travel Reads the Card of a Man
Sorry – real men no longer want to operate out of San Francisco . . . Paladin.
Tony Bennett to Retrieve Heart from San Francisco
“I can’t see leaving my heart in a place that has no heart of it’s own,” the famous crooner lamented. “It used to have class, but since the influx of weirdos, degenerates, hippies and socially-challenged geeks, it has become the ‘leper colony’ of America. There should be warning signs on the highways proclaiming unclean ahead at the city limits.”
Mr. Bennett then went high on a hill to fetch his detatched organ and proceeded to a nearby red state and placed it in an undisclosed location pending a new city to adopt.
Hurricanes on Jupiter Must be the President’s Fault
How long before the Democrats blame this on George Bush‘s reluctance to sign the insane Kyoto Pact?
Jupiter’s Massive Winds Likely Generated From Deep Inside Its Interior, Scientists Report
A new computer model indicates Jupiter’s massive winds are generated from deep within the giant planet’s interior, a UCLA scientist and international colleagues report in the journal Nature.
This image shows results from a computer simulation of Jupiter’s winds. The color contours show wind speed with red representing eastward flows and blue representing westward flows. (Credit: Dr. Moritz Heimpel, University of Alberta, Department of Physics)
Jupiter’s powerful winds are very different from those on Earth. They continually circle the planet, and have changed very little in the 300 years that scientists have studied them. Massive east-west winds in Jupiter’s equatorial region reach approximately 340 miles per hour — twice as rapid as winds generated by strong hurricanes on Earth. At higher latitudes, the wind pattern switches to alternating jets that race around the planet.
See “Jupiter’s Massive Winds Likely Generated From Deep Inside Its Interior, Scientists Report” from Science Daily for the complete article.
And, by the way, mankind is not the cause of Global Warming.