Tony Bennett to Retrieve Heart from San Francisco

“I can’t see leaving my heart in a place that has no heart of it’s own,” the famous crooner lamented. “It used to have class, but since the influx of weirdos, degenerates, hippies and socially-challenged geeks, it has become the ‘leper colony’ of America. There should be warning signs on the highways proclaiming unclean ahead at the city limits.”

Mr. Bennett then went high on a hill to fetch his detatched organ and proceeded to a nearby red state and placed it in an undisclosed location pending a new city to adopt.