Mother’s Day

Well, just what shall I get Damsel for Mothers Day? BLING-BLING? Naw, she has plenty of that already. This time she needs BANG-BANG!

As usual, I met with the boss last week to discuss current activities, progress and problems. When it came time to discuss planned absences, I mentioned that I needed some time off that afternoon to go and pick up Damsel’s Mothers’ Day gift.

“That’s fine,” he said, “What are you going to get her?” he asked.

“A Smith & Wesson 686-6 three-fifty-seven magnum revolver,” I answered.

“No, really . . .” he chuckled.

“Seriously,” I replied, “that’s what she wants. You should have seen her face light up the first time I suggested such a thing. You would have thought I offered her a pair of 200 karat diamond-encrusted slippers and a coach ride to the Prince’s Ball.”

“The Damsel takes pride in our home and garden,” I said, “and home security is definitely on her list of essential ‘housewares.'”

“Right,” the boss said slowly as he mused, as though to ponder how his spouse might consider such a concept, “that’s important these days.”

I couldn’t agree more.

Inset: Not a bad first firing group – five of seven rounds in the “stop zone.”