I didn’t stay up late enough to hear the monologue, but thanks to the Patriot Post, we are able to enjoy Jay Leno‘s takes on the changing of the guard:
You know a lot of celebrities in Washington for the inauguration. Isn’t that unbelievable? So many celebrities are out of town, over in Malibu, they had to close the Promises Rehab Center for a week.
Good luck trying to find a place to stay. Given how hard it is to get a room in Washington, even Bill and Hillary had to double up.
Barack Obama plans to issue an executive order on his first full day in office, directing the closing of Guantanamo Bay. He said he needs the money for new prisons to hold Democratic mayors and governors.
Incoming press secretary Robert Gibbs said President-elect Barack Obama will allow gays to serve openly in the military. So the days of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” are over. Actually, that’s not quite true. Congress will continue to use the phrase when referring to the bailout money. “Don’t Ask Us What We Did With It, We’re Not Going To Tell You Where It Went.”
At his confirmation hearing, Attorney General Nominee Eric Holder said as far as he is concerned, waterboarding is torture. And Treasury secretary nominee Tim Geithner said, “So is paying taxes.”
President Bush said he is leaving Washington with his head held high, because it is the best way to spot shoes that are coming at you.
We sadly report the passing of famous author and screenwriter, Michael Crichton. He died after a private battle with cancer on November 4, 2008. We respected Dr. Crichton not only for his immense scientific and literary talents, but also for his practical views on the global warming hoax.
It is this reporter’s opinion that the very heart of America is under attack. There are those, foreign and domestic, who actually HATE this great nation and all it stands for. Led by atheists and the ACLU, there are groups who would love to destroy the promises on which our nation was founded – our very way of life.
Damsel and I are very proud to be able to honor Marc Scott Zeplin on the fifth anniversary of 9/11/2001 and to be part of the 
Marc Scott Zeplin, age 33.
You know how some people will hang a tennis ball in the garage to assist them as they pull in to park? They will screw in a cup hook or an eyelet into the ceiling and hang the tennis ball with twine such that it’s positioned on a certain point on your windshield when your car is more-or-less precisely parked. This is especially important for small garages or when the garage is shared with another vehicle (the latter is true in our case).