Damsel told me on the chatroom a while ago that Christmas season is a prime time for cardiac arrest. I understood that very well when I stopped at the ATM next door during my lunchtime walk; the damn thing ate my bank card! And I have some Christmas shopping to do!
We're sorry; your card has been retained.
Please contact your financial institution
Now what? I called my credit union, and after wading through several layers of pushbutton menus, I was in touch with the all-important “your call is important to us” message, this time interlaced with credit union ads, which was marginally less irritating than the starved-bandwidth elevator music one usually gets.
Finally, I was in touch with an actual person who advised me that there was a network glitch, and the card was retained as invalid; she could order me a new card which would be “rushed” to me within five business days. “That’s no good,” I said, “I have no cash and shopping season is upon me!” “Well,” was the reply, “You can go to the institution that retained the card and ask them to return it to you; sometimes they will return them if you have proper ID.”
To make a long rant shorter, I went back next door to the customer service representative who cheerfully returned the card to me after checking my driver’s license. Now, why wouldn’t the ATM just regurgitate the card and advise me to check with my bank? I can see why some people become technophobes.