I was awakened this morning by one of the neighbor’s “kids” starting up his souped-up hot rod. Now it wouldn’t be a problem if he would get in it and drive away, but he leaves it curbside for about 15 minutes while it “warms up” making a terrible racket the whole time. I can’t get back to sleep, so I get up and go downstairs to wake up and try and get in a good mood.
Now this “kid” isn’t a kid at all — not any more. He’s about 22 or 23 years old and still lives at home with Mom. He and his friends used to throw wild parties and carry on when Mom was out of town until the Cap’n and I hauled Mom into mediation and threatened litigation. I still don’t understand why she hasn’t kicked his butt out.
I can see that I’m not the only person who is disturbed by an apparent trend for young adults to remain at home with parents rather than getting out on their own. This great article by Betsy Hart roots out the problem nicely:
Kick the Kids Out of the Nest, for their Own Sake
Ah, the season of college graduations is upon us. Many newly minted graduates have donned their caps and gowns, marched to “Pomp and Circumstance” and now they are headed back home.
That’s the problem. Too many of them just won’t leave.
In a hilarious episode of “Seinfeld” (and weren’t they all), Jerry is doing his stand-up routine. He asks the audience to imagine a grown fellow saying, “Boy, my life is great. I just got a promotion at work, my bowling score is going up and next month I might even be moving back in with my parents!” The audience laughs uproariously, because even back in the 1990s, such a move was for losers.
But today, fully 20 percent of “adults” between the ages of 22 and 26 live with Mom and Dad. That percent has doubled since 1970. Now let’s be clear. These kids typically have money and jobs. They are buying cool cars, flat-screen TVs and going out several nights a week. Often, they pay no rent. They are having a great time. Only, they are not growing up.
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Here’s a suggestion: This college graduation season, go ahead Mom and Dad, and give the kids a party. A few good meals. A lot of guidance. But please, sometime between now and the end of summer — do yourself, your children and all of us a favor: Kick the kids out of the family nest.
Betsy Hart, author of It Takes a Parent: How the Culture of Pushover Parenting is Hurting Our Kids — and What to Do About It. She can be reached through www.betsyhart.net or betsysblog.com.