{"id":122,"date":"2005-11-18T04:46:47","date_gmt":"2005-11-18T12:46:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/capnbob.us\/blog\/?p=122"},"modified":"2005-11-17T19:51:56","modified_gmt":"2005-11-18T03:51:56","slug":"tony-bennett-to-retrieve-heart-from-san-francisco","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/capnbob.us\/blog\/2005\/11\/18\/tony-bennett-to-retrieve-heart-from-san-francisco\/","title":{"rendered":"Tony Bennett to Retrieve Heart from San Francisco"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;I can&#8217;t see leaving my heart in a place that has no heart of it&#8217;s own,&#8221; the famous crooner lamented. &#8220;It used to have class, but since the influx of weirdos, degenerates, hippies and socially-challenged geeks, it has become the &#8216;leper colony&#8217; of America. There should be warning signs on the highways proclaiming <em>unclean ahead<\/em> at the city limits.&#8221; <\/p>\n<p>Mr. Bennett then went high on a hill to fetch his detatched organ and proceeded to a nearby red state and placed it in an undisclosed location pending a new city to adopt.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;I can&#8217;t see leaving my heart in a place that has no heart of it&#8217;s own,&#8221; the famous crooner lamented. &#8220;It used to have class, but since the influx of weirdos, degenerates, hippies and socially-challenged geeks, it has become the &#8216;leper colony&#8217; of America. There should be warning signs on the highways proclaiming unclean ahead at the city limits.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":190,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,36,25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-122","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-california","category-satire","category-whacko-politics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/capnbob.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/122","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/capnbob.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/capnbob.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/capnbob.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/190"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/capnbob.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=122"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/capnbob.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/122\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/capnbob.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=122"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/capnbob.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=122"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/capnbob.us\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=122"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}